After losing my hosting that all my images were on, and after losing my password to this LiveJournal for quite a while, I've decided to move this blog to a Blogger account. While this means that, sadly, all the comments people have made will be lost, and while it does mean that I will be in essence starting over from scratch, I will at least have stable image hosting so that situations like this can't happen again.

Right now, the blog can be found at this address:

http://badalbumart.blogspot.com

I don't have much put up there yet, but it will eventually cover all of the albums I've covered over the course of this blog, as well as all-new content. For a while, though, it'll be in reruns until I have everything ported over.

There are so many hilarious things about this cover that it's easiest to just make a list.

1) The fact this photo was obviously taken in a studio warehouse instead of a barn
2) The black on yellow text cheerfully suggesting that this LP is a "collector's item" in much the same way that NASCAR plates and Precious Moments figurines are "collectable."
3) The expression on the vaguely-Jimmy Carter looking guy in the center which seems to be very gleeful at the fact that he suckered a bunch of people into thinking said LP is a collector's item
4) The blonde woman's posing, which suggests a combination of "I had better adjust my helmet made of hair," "I have gone deaf from listening to this music for extended periods of time," and "I am actually a mannequin that the photographer found stashed behind these haybales."
5) The lustful gleam in the eye of the top center dobro player that seems to be directed toward Mr. Polka-Dot Shirt.
6) The names of the artists they got to contribute to this compilation in the first place, especially "Shot Jackson."

"Huh? Who are you assholes? Can't you see I'm eating? An album cover? Can't you fuckheads just get out of here! Look, if you want a picture so bad, just take one right now. I ain't in no fuckin' mood to get up and dick around for a half-hour while my food gets cold. Either take a picture or get out, now!"

Quite a while ago, I took these guys to task for one version of their album Operation, which featured a katydid chewing up human babies. What I didn't realize at the time is that apparently Birth Control's album covers came in a variety of different forms. I wasn't surprised to learn, of course, that most of these alternate forms were just as shitty.

Therefore, we have this alternate take on Operation. Instead of a giant insect committing infanticide, we see some sort of eel inside a water-filled condom. Like with most of Birth Control's covers, I really have no idea what this has to do with the concept of birth control, if anything. I mean, the idea "wear a condom or else a giant eel will come out of your penis and destroy your girlfriend's cervix" is juuust a bit insane.

Speaking of cash-ins, this cover just breaks my eyes almost every time I look at it. I refuse to believe that anyone with any inkling of design sense had anything to do with this cover. Using photo negatives on an album cover is a gamble under the best circumstances, but typically you should try to use contrasting covers to make the negatives stand out instead of using a horrible grey background that makes them blend in. The clashing red on the "Naked" and even the inherent awkwardness of the album's title (never, EVER use ellipses in an album title, I beg you) just make things worse. Jesus, they didn't even get Harrison's photo right.

The hilarious thing about this cover is, as amateurish and nasty as it looks, simply making a negative of the existing album cover results in a much more professional looking cover that's far easier on the eyes. Nicer color palette, less clashing color contrast, and overall a nicer viewing experience. It still has problems, but at least they're workable problems.

You know the album you're releasing is a cynical cash-in when you can't even spring for actual album artwork. Granted, stark minimalism can work sometimes (such as the iconic art for the Beatles' White Album), but that's assuming that whatever typography or lettering you're using is actually pleasing on the eyes in the first place. This looks like a weathered, bargain-basement flier for a yard sale or something.

"Oh I'll get my reward all right! A reward of ETERNAL GLOBAL DOMINATION! I'm going to have to get rid of this leisure suit first, though. Isn't really becoming of the future WORLD EMPREROR TRIPP! Shit, playing with this overhead projector was fun, Marlene was right."

Eddie actually only learned the organ because he thought he could pick up chicks. When he discovered that most women don't find playing the organ very attractive, he resorted to subliminal attempts to bring attention to his other "organ" in his album covers. His attempts, it should be noted, were not all that subtle.

(this image comes courtesy, again, of Bizarre Records)

Ah yes, whenever I think of the smooth, folky melodies of Crosby, Stills, and Nash, what immediately comes to mind for me is giant hot dogs. On the moon.

You hear that, women with breast cancer? Ted Nugent says "Fuck you!"

Amazingly, this is actually less demeaning to women than the original, unused concept version of this album cover.